Dear Ryan and Jay,
Thank you so much for your patience and for letting us read your proposal for Clydestown Society of Mystery and Intrigue. We were knocked senseless by the intricate design, and there was even closer attention paid to your wonderfully lyrical prose. The overall idea of your project is highly ambitious, and it’s seems like the type of staggering creativity that the humdrum literary world could seriously use. But as we saw it, your project doesn’t seem to be a perfect fit for what ( ) is currently looking for. We’ve just published a memoir, so we’re currently on the search for literary, language-focused fiction. But with your eyes for poignant language and awe-inspiring design skills, we’re confident this novel will find its audience with another publisher.
We hope you continue to work on this project, as it has both energy and drive. Thanks again for submitting and bringing our attention to your intriguing work. It was truly a pleasure to visit such an innovative, starkly different universe.
Honestly, this is really classy. I wish more publishing houses and agents had the decency to write thoughtful rejections. And it was a hard sell, especially when your story is a cross-platform, year-long narrative delivered on library cards, cassette tapes and through email and DVDS (among other mediums).
That said, does anyone want to publish an experimental narrative?